emmie is bipolar. Not that this bothers me, as mitda and I are also bipolar, but sometimes it can be a little trying. Add some reactance to a mixed state and you have a volatile, angry slave who has no reason to be either. Of course in that state you can come up with an event to focus your anger on, but it simply isn't the real reason.
So we got through it and got out the real way she was feeling. And I punished the way she had expressed it. But now she's asleep in a benzodiazepine haze, benzos being one of the best temporary escapes from a mixed state I've found. And emmie is a wuss at taking meds compared with mitda, who needs double the usual dose on every med :).
Seeing her sleeping here so sweetly reminds me why, during the acting-out she did, when she asked me if I wanted to reevaluate our relationship I said "no, I don't particularly". I love her and what she brings to me in her role as much as I love mitda and the very different things she brings to me. I hope my response, made without hesitation, helps emmie with her insecurities, helps her know that no matter what I will be there.
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2 comments:
your response meant the world to me, i felt loved despite my bratty behavior. i am so fortunate to be able to serve you and i shall endeavor to do so with mindfulness and grace.
i'm not sure if i ever left a comment on your blog, but i'm lurking it since i've been reading your slaves' online journals. :) i just want to say hi and thank you for sharing your Dominant point of view in this journey.
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